Title: Is Your Home a Zoo?
Category: Positive Parenting
Dr. John Trent, Ph.D. is a family counselor, seminar speaker and
co-author of eight books on family life, parenting and Christian parenting.
He has a good analogy for dividing up children's personalities into four
animal categories. They include
lions, otters, golden retrievers and beavers.
By understanding that each child is a combination of these four animals
but probably more of one or two of them, we can help our children to get along
better and appreciate their whole personality and special place in this world.
Lion children are strong leaders. They
are very purposeful and decisive. They
have strong opinions and they are not afraid to express them.
They are very determined and are always ready to overcome obstacles.
They like quick action and are not very patient.
If your child is a lion, you may have discipline problems with him.
You might try discussing rules for good behavior with them and set up a
written plan of consequences if the rules are broken. This will probably be more agreeable and work out more
harmoniously. It will allow you to
be less of a policeman in your home.
The next child personality type is the otter, who is like a party waiting
to happen. These are precious
children who love to talk, are energetic, impulsive, and enthusiastic.
When guests come over they want to entertain them.
They have great wit and humor and are frequently the life of the home or
any party. They love to start
projects but get bored quickly and rarely finish them.
They just enjoy constant activity and socialization. If they are not on the phone or doing something all the time,
they get bored. These children are
susceptible to peer pressure as they get older. In resolving problems with otter children, remember their
great need to talk and be liked. Help
them to construct a more basic contract system similar to your lion child with
definite rules and consequences spelled out.
Put this in writing and they will begin to learn that responsibility goes
along with their fun loving life style.
The third child personality type is the golden retriever.
This child is loyal, sensitive and nurturing.
They tend to get along well with other children and will tend to give in
to the other child's suggestions. They
are very good listeners and feel deeply about everyone they love. These strengths which are helpful in becoming a peace maker,
supporter or nurturer can also, when pushed too far, become a co-dependency.
In other words, they become so supportive of their friend or family
member or parent that it becomes their problem as well.
In resolving problems with golden retrievers, help them not feel too much
over-commitment in wanting to please everyone.
They are usually easy to parent and discipline.
Teach them to say "no". Although
serving is a wonderful character trait, they need to learn reasonable limits.
Regular, ongoing discussions with your golden retriever child will help
them to make wise decisions throughout their life.
The final animal personality type is the beaver.
Beaver children are very persistent and like to complete all their tasks.
They may not start as many projects as an otter but they will finish each
one that they start. They are very
organized and have everything color-coded and neat in their closet.
They love lists and they love to finish projects and cross some things
off their list. In resolving
problems with a beaver child, remember their very strong sense of right and
wrong. Of the four child
personality types beavers tend to be more susceptible to adolescent depression.
Possibly this is because they have such high expectations and they are
perfectionists. Help them to set
realistic goals and praise them for their good character traits which are
separate and apart from completing any specific tasks.
Again a clear, well spelled out rule system can help them to know they
are on track and feel appreciated. Now
in raising a brood of all four of these animals or any combination of them in a
home, it helps to let each child understand their unique values and strengths.
In other words, if you have a daughter who is a golden retriever and a
son who is a lion they may be constantly fighting and frustrating you as a
parent. Cut out a picture of their
personality type and stick it on the refrigerator. Write