Title: What Ever Happened to Ozzie and Harriet?
Category: Positive Parenting
My, how things have changed in the past generation with the American
family. The 50's and 60's model was
LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, DONNA REED, FATHER KNOWS BEST, AND OZZIE AND HARRIET.
Now, the 90's father is not so sure about his role as breadwinner and
part time "Mr. Mom". Men
are encouraged by books such as IRON JOHN to join men's groups, assert
themselves and seek their "other selves".
Many men have problems with these changes because almost all of them grew
up in a home where their father was the sole breadwinner. He was cared for and somewhat pampered by a loving, full-time
housewife who did most of the parenting chores as well.
Today most women (about 80%) work full or part time.
Many would like to be housewives but with financial pressures in today's
world and high taxes on the family, it is not always a viable option.
These same "super moms" do most of the housework and parenting
chores. It is no surprise that they
are tired, frustrated, and, along with their husbands, sometimes struggling with
their parenting chores.
Are these drastic role changes of mothers and fathers in the present
generation connected in any way with some of the problems we see with today's
youth? The problems, I mean,
include a marked increase in crime including serious and violent crimes such as
murder. They also include a steady
increase in school drop outs, teen suicides, drug use, teen pregnancies,
abortions, sexually transmitted diseases (including AIDS) and several other
negative trends. I personally
believe that the role changes and the overall change in the character of the
American family over the past 30 to 40 years is at least in part to blame for
these dismal statistics. Some
surprising recent studies in the Journal of Pediatrics are suggesting the same
findings.
I think there are many other culprits we can place the blame on, too.
These, in my opinion include a very fast paced society which is high tech
and high stimuli and not always "high touch".
By that I mean, everyone in the home is busy doing something but very
infrequently are they doing it together as a family. Far more kids are spending a third of their lifetime in front
of a TV set or listening to loud rock music on a Walkman radio or watching music
videos. Less and less kids
are seen playing in the yards or neighborhoods, school grounds or church grounds
of our communities. There is a lot
less reading and good old fashioned conversations and slow neighbor to neighbor
visiting going on in most of America today.
Contrast this with the 50's model when most children's lives were very
centered in and around their home, neighborhood, school and church.
I can remember in the 50's, as young as age six, waking up at the crack
of dawn to jump on my bike and ride all over town in Opelousas with a whole gang
of boys from around our neighborhood. Can
you imagine that today? Today most
parents are afraid to let their young children out of their sight.
The tremendous increase in crime over the past 40 years has certainly
restricted a lot of the neighborhood, school ground and church yard activities
which were routine before. Kids are
spending more and more time in cars being shuttled from one activity to another,
especially a high diet of movies and mall visits.
Many children don't know how to amuse themselves or simply play games in
the neighborhood with other kids unless they have a rented video or movie.
How can we change these dismal trends?
I believe it is up to us as intelligent parents to choose to put quantity
and quality time for our family above materialism.
This may mean that one parent may choose to give up a full time job for
staying home full time, or, for a part time job, when the children are young. It will certainly mean financial sacrifices and living within
one's means and probably mean delaying attainment of certain material things.
I believe we must as a society support and get more involved in our
neighborhood schools, churches, and