Title: Positive Fathering
Category: Positive Parenting
Ideally fathers should take a very active role in parenting. When fathers
are very involved with their sons and daughters throughout their life the
children usually grow up heterosexual. They
are more likely to be well adjusted and well prepared for adulthood and marriage
themselves. Probably more than any other factor in parenting, a father's
role will help to insure success in the long run.
The average father in America spends a matter of only a few minutes daily
with his children. He may fool himself into thinking he is spending a little
quality time. Quality time is great
but it must be coupled with a quantity of regular committed time to loving our
children and being involved with their lives.
Our children grow up so fast that if we miss the opportunities when they
are young we can never make up for them later.
Sometimes career success and individual hobbies may have to take second
place to time with our children. It
certainly is the better choice during the first 20 years of our children's lives
and it will pay much bigger dividends in the long run.
Spending time with our children is unique in each household and each
father can find the right time to spend with each child.
Some of the happiest memories that I have growing up were of making
housecalls with my dad after supper at night.
He always got me an ice cream cone and we always talked while we were
driving in the car.
I also loved playing golf with him just before sundown after he had put
in a days work. Some of our best conversations were as the sun was going down
and we were walking in together after that last hole. By spending this kind of quality time regularly and over a
long period of time children have a special bond with their parents and feel
comfortable coming back home for advice and help when they need it.
Fathers should also spend special quality time with their daughters.
Perhaps a regular date taking them out to supper, or shopping, or
something that they really enjoy on a regular basis would work best. There are special times that children open up to their
parents. By spending regular
quality time with our children these special times will pop up much more
frequently.
I believe fathers should be less like John Wayne and more like Jimmy
Stewart. I believe that the more we
can wrap our arms around our children and kiss and hug them and tell them how
dearly we love them, the better off they'll be.
Children need regular affection. Daughters
need to be noticed by their father and told that they are pretty.
Sons and daughters growing up in this type home are more likely to be
heterosexual and to have healthy sexuality in their own marriages.
A father who is affectionate with his wife and gives his wife lots of
tenderness and attention teaches his children a lot about relationships.
POSITIVE FATHERING
Fathers like mothers must love their children unconditionally just as
they are. Each child will be unique
and needs to know that they are appreciated just the way God made them.
They don't have to achieve any great feats in sports, academics or
anything else. All they have to do
is be happy being themselves and knowing that their father and mother love them.
Children need to feel this type of unconditional love and security in
their home because they probably won't feel it anywhere
else.
Fathers who are always proud of their children and who get more excited
bragging about their children than about their career are on the right track.
When a son or daughter feels that they are that special to their father
they will strive to be the best they can be as they grow up because of their
father's positive expectations.
Fathers can help to build many happy memories for their children.
Despite a busy, year-round schedule, I've tried to make two or three
weeks every summer especially sacred for family time and vacation. Now that my children are almost grown up I'm so glad that I
did. We can look back over the past 16 years and laugh and smile at