Title: Reflections On Mother's Day
Category: Positive Parenting
As an adopted child I have thought often in my 42 years about my mother.
My adoptive mother is a saint and I feel so blessed to have ended up in
such a wonderful home. I also have
pondered often about my birth mother. I
wondered why she gave me up, if she was OK, and if she knew I appreciated and
loved her for the gift of my life. Over
the past seven years, many of the questions I had growing up were answered when
I found my birth mother and was able to thank her for that gift and fill in many
gaps in my identity. I definitely
feel blessed and appreciative of both my birth mother and my adoptive mother and
their nurturing of my life.
My birth mother was a young college coed from a well-to-do family who
found herself pregnant after a brief relationship in 1951.
She was brought from Florida to the Volunteers of America adoption agency
in Louisiana. She carried me for
nine months and placed me for adoption. She
tried to go on with her life. As so
often happens, this was not easy and she had to suppress the pain but finally
did. She rebuilt her life and ended
up having three more children and a pretty difficult life. When we had our reunion experience about seven years ago, I
think a lot of healing took place. Perhaps
some guilt that she had felt was cleared once she realized how thankful I was at
what she had done for me. We have
stayed in touch and have a fairly close relationship but not a warm, loving
relationship like I do with my adoptive mother who has truly nurtured me from
the time I was two months old till the present day. I pray for my birth mother, daily, and hope to help her in
her old age in any way I possibly can.
My adoptive mother, Kathleen Halphen Prather, has been my greatest
teacher throughout my life. She has
taught me by example and word the importance of loving others and devoting one's
life to others. She has been a
totally unselfish and serving wife and mother all of her adult life.
She has tremendous compassion and empathy for anyone who is suffering and
sick. She has inspired me to also
want to reach out to help anyone and everyone that I can, particularly the
downtrodden, the poor, and the sick. She
read to me, sang to me, tucked me in, made sure I got to school, made sure I did
my homework, and always supported me in everything I attempted throughout my
childhood. When I got to the junior
high level, she challenged me to try to work a little bit harder to be a top
student and to open up doors for scholarships and opportunities in life,
whatever they might be. She always
reminded me that a person's record goes with them and that going the extra mile
is the difference between greatness and mediocrity.
She reminded me that loving others and devoting one's life to serving
others is more important than anything else and certainly more important than
power, prestige and money. I am so
thankful that I had the kind of mother who raised me to want to "lose
myself in others" as she did throughout her life and thus to find the true
secret of happiness.
When I think of Mother's Day I think of my mother, Kathleen; my birth
mother, Jean; and my wonderful wife, Patty, who has been a perfect mother for
our three children. Mother's Day is a wonderful reminder of how blessed we all
are to have loving mothers and not to take them for granted. When was the last time you told your mother she was precious
to you, and